I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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