Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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