How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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