Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
