adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
