You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
