I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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