It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
