I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
barbara walters just said penis...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You are the jesus of drinking
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize