Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize