Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
