awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
