My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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