I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
