Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
