If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Farmville is her only friend.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize