Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
