I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
