google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
