Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
