ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
