dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
