Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
