Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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