and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she pinky promised me she was 18
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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