We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
