Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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