I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
3 2 1 whiskey
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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