Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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