part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
