it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
