he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
