I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize