So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
