Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
