you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
