The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
