i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
