Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
