2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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