he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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