There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
