I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
