I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sponge bath it is.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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