last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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