You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
