you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
