i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize