Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
