my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
