Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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