my being single is dangerous.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
