Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
