so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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