in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
