Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
