Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
