i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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