boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
