i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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