Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
