help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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